It’s been a while since my last blog, and since I’m finally on yet another vacation, this might be the prime opportunity to give an update! (Insert cheers here).
I made it back to Suriname last week. I really have missed my friends and my students here. God has truly blessed me with some phenomenal brothers and sisters in the faith. It’s been tough transitioning back after being going for 2.5 months. Although, I will say, it’s nice be in 90+ degree weather again!! The past week was filled with a lot of cleaning, work, Christmas parties, cooking, writing midterms, grading (which I haven’t finished yet), and rehearsals. Clifton called me a week ago to help sing for the church musical which goes on tomorrow. I’m not confident in the song and keep screwing up. Pray for me.
This past Sunday I was able to share my testimony about what God has done with and through me over the past few months. Since I did not write it out for church, I will attempt to address all the points that I made during service.
I sincerely thank all of you that have carried me in your prayers. There have been so many times over the past 4 months that I did not even have the strength to vocally cry out to God. I appreciate each and every one of you who did so on my behalf.
While I was back in New York, it seemed like the question of the century (although, I know this not to be true), was which person in the Bible do you identify with? Most of my friends would say, “I identify with Paul,” or “I identify with Moses.” You know, I identify with Job. Not because I feel like, “Oh, woe is me!” But because of how God humbled Job at the end of the book that bears his name.
In the Book of Job, Job looses everything he owned and suffered from a terrible sickness. His friends insisted that Job was suffering as punishment for his sin. However, throughout, Job still confessed his love for God.
Over the past few months I’ve been sick, people tried to rationalize my situation just like Job’s friends did. I can’t explain why these things have happened, and I know that I have complained to God about them, too. But I also know that God is too great and wonderful for me to understand (this is actually the conclusion that I’ve come to).
I’ve been pouring over the last few chapters of Job, over and over again. God is silent through the whole book, until chapter 38. He comes in a storm, and poses these questions (that, of course, He doesn’t need the answers to) to Job. “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely, you know!...Have you ever given orders to the morning, or shown the dawn Its place, that it might take the earth by the edges and shake the wicked out of it?...Do you send the lightening bolts on their way?...Do you know when the mountain goats give birth?...Do you give the horse his strength or clothe his neck with a flowing mane?” God continues to ask these types of questions to Job for about four chapters.
I love Job’s response in chapter 42. Throughout this journey, it has become my response. ‘I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted. You asked, “Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?’ Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.’ My ears have heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore, I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.”
I read these chapters and feel utterly crushed under the weight of God Almighty! (That’s not a bad thing). I have no response other than silence in His presence because of WHO He is!
Who am I that I should question His wisdom and justice? Who? Tell me? When compared to the Holy One, I’m nothing, nothing, but a speck of dust in time. He will has been and will always remain the Eternal God!
When there is no rational or even theological explanation for the situations we face, we must trust God! We have no clue as to what His plans are for our individual lives. Even if we lose everything we have in this life, it is worth it to follow Christ. If God chooses never to give us another blessing, it's still worth it to follow Him. In all of our circumstances, we must come to a point where we praise God for WHO He is, and not what He give us.
We have an advantage over others because we have hope in a hopeless world. Whatever our situations may be, our hope lies in Christ Jesus. It’s not found in our family, our friends, our money, our looks, but it’s only found in Jesus Christ through His redeeming act of death upon the cross as payment for our sin.
I pray that you will remember this fact this Christmas season. It’s not about anything BUT Jesus Christ, God who came down to Earth in the flesh to redeem us to Himself.
I truly love you all and desire for you to know Christ, not as a baby laying in the manger, but as your Lord and Savior. To God be the glory in all that we do.
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