Out of the Wreck I Rise

Yesterday, marked nine months of learning to live with a long term illness. I sat down to write and reflect on my experience, hoping to share some of it with you. I was halfway through and had to leave for another doctor's appointment. I've been struggling with issues that have popped up as a result of taking a lot of medicine (?). After my appointment, I decided to scrap my first blog. The following is a portion of what I wrote down after my meeting with the doctor:

Today I was told that if I wanted to get rid of my tonsil infection, I would have to have them removed since it has not responded to any treatment. So many people have told me "God doesn't give us more than we can handle." That leads me to think: "What in the world am I made of?!?"

I can't imagine going through all of this without Christ. I can't imagine being told all these things 10 years ago. At times, I already feel like a wreck. Christ has been my solid rock, my anchor through this storm. My heart grieves for those who don't know Christ and have long-term illnesses -- Where does their hope come from?

I know that You are birthing a new sense of compassion for others through all of this. It is my prayer that You would work mightily through this broken vessel. Here I am, Lord. Use all of it; use all of me. You have brought me through the fire and water, and into a place of abundance - even if my physical body is weak. I will praise You for who You are. I will tell others of what You have done for my soul.

Blessed be You, O Lord, my God! You do not turn Your ear from me, and Your loving-kindness endures forever!

I woke up this morning singing the song "Jesus Lives" by Sovereign Grace Music. I turned to tomorrow's devo from My Utmost, and it had the same theme as the song, so I share that with you as well.

From "My Utmost for His Highest"
Oswald Chambers
May 19

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? —Romans 8:35

God does not keep His child immune from trouble; He promises, “I will be with him in trouble . . .” (Psalm 91:15). It doesn’t matter how real or intense the adversities may be; nothing can ever separate him from his relationship to God. “In all these things we are more than conquerors . . .” (Romans 8:37). Paul was not referring here to imaginary things, but to things that are dangerously real. And he said we are “super-victors” in the midst of them, not because of our own ingenuity, nor because of our courage, but because none of them affects our essential relationship with God in Jesus Christ. I feel sorry for the Christian who doesn’t have something in the circumstances of his life that he wishes were not there.

“Shall tribulation . . . ?” Tribulation is never a grand, highly welcomed event; but whatever it may be— whether exhausting, irritating, or simply causing some weakness— it is not able to “separate us from the love of Christ.” Never allow tribulations or the “cares of this world” to separate you from remembering that God loves you (Matthew 13:22).

“Shall . . . distress . . . ?” Can God’s love continue to hold fast, even when everyone and everything around us seems to be saying that His love is a lie, and that there is no such thing as justice?

“Shall . . . famine . . . ?” Can we not only believe in the love of God but also be “more than conquerors,” even while we are being starved?

Either Jesus Christ is a deceiver, having deceived even Paul, or else some extraordinary thing happens to someone who holds on to the love of God when the odds are totally against him. Logic is silenced in the face of each of these things which come against him. Only one thing can account for it— the love of God in Christ Jesus. “Out of the wreck I rise” every time.